Digging Deep

So instead of continuing a story about one of the kids, this time I thought I would write to share a bit about my personal feelings in this line of work.

The truth is, as I have already said to many people, there are many times when I feel I have the best job in the world, but there is an almost equal number of times when I feel it is all too much and I find myself longing for some of the comforts I had before.  Due to the intensity of this work, there is very little in -between.

I am in contact on a daily basis with around 90 kids, between the ages of 12 and 18.  Seeing as all of the kids come from very traumatic backgrounds of living on the streets, drug addiction, sexual exploitation and human trafficking, they are never going to be an easy group of people to work with.   As such, perhaps the toughest thing I have had learn is to keep my patience.  To learn how to encourage a kid to behave properly etc, but at the same not losing my patience when a kid is repeatedly rude, or when a kid repeatedly decides that they prefer finding a corner of the building to sleep in, rather than participating in sessions.  Nearly every day I find myself in situations where at least one kid deliberately or unintentionally will do something which challenges me, or the other kids, or other members of staff.   Keeping patient whilst dealing with situations such as this on a daily base is tough, it requires at many times for me to dig deep within myself, but it is possible. 

The other area where I have had to train myself in this line of work is in terms of taking initiatives.  Due to the how it is around here, a fixed and organised schedule doesn’t always work.  If you want to organise something that would be of benefit to the kids, you have to take the initiative to do so.   The trouble is, it can sometimes be very difficult to find that initiative.  Sometimes it feels a lot easier to bow -out rather than break through all the challenges presented by the kids themselves.  There are many times when I have had to dig-deep within myself not to look for an escape (in the same way we tell the kids not to escape by climbing the wall), but instead to stay there with the kids, to work through the challenges and do something that might really benefit this very vulnerable group of people.   

I will keep digging deep to do all that I can.  Mainly because I love doing what I do.  Digging this deep on a daily basis is however very very tough.  But the fact is when we dig deep to help these kids, we can really help them, so I will keep doing so!