My Personal Addiction Problem

The vast majority of the kids I work with have addiction problems.  For those that come from living on the streets, it is mainly to glue and crack.

Glue is a particularly painful addiction to see the kids go through.  Kids living on the street can by a jar of very powerful glue from shoemakers in Nicaragua’s markets.  A jar costs 5 Cordobas (as an idea, 20 Cordobas = $1), and usually lasts a kid about one day.

The kids then walk about all day with this little jar of glue stuffed under their nose, which they inhale frequently.  It makes them sleepy and lethargic, their eyes glaze over, and by the afternoon, they are normally slumped on the streets, incapable of doing much or communicating properly.  It is an exceptionally powerful addiction, and in terms of living on the street, it also has the very important effect of taking away hunger and the cold. 

The fact that the glue sniffing can only be done in a very open manner, also means that it strips all dignity away from the kids. They lose interest in personal hygiene because of it, and also become exposed to more risky behaviour.  

At Casa Alianza we work hard to help kids with these addiction problems, and in my area, working to provide sustainable alternatives, such as sporting events, so that they have something to replace their necessity for the drugs.

For those who have spoken to me in person, or have been following this blog, will know that this sort of work, in direct contact with around 70 kids on a daily basis, to help them find alternatives to life on the streets, if very, very intense!

As such, I wanted to write a bit about my own addiction problem. 

The work is very intense, and the fact that I am doing it in a nasty and dangerous city makes it even more intense.  And here is where my own addiction comes into play, and I thought it was time to share it here:

The danger with this intensity, of giving 100% of myself to the work I do is that, aside from the intensity, it is very, very addictive.  I have heard of aid workers and journalists speaking of a similar issue.  Being in such direct contact, and being able to directly see the change I am making through giving all I have to give is great, but very addictive.  Addiction to something like this is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is something I have to be careful with.  Living in a nasty, dangerous town has also become, bizarrely addictive.  Living in a nice, safe part of the world, currently seems desirable, but a very alien concept.    Working in a less direct fashion to what I am currently doing also seems like a strange idea.

So, like with the kids, I need to manage, control and be aware of my addiction.  I need to provide myself with the sustainable alternatives that I seek to help provide for the kids.  Of course, living in a dangerous city like Managua does not make that too easy.  In the mean time, I will keep giving all I have to give, to make a difference, but at the same time, trying to be more aware that I need to reserve a little bit of myself, in order to control this personal addiction to my work. 

Once again, to all who follow this blog, thank you, and happy Easter.